I grew up in a very non Christian family. We only went to church for weddings and funerals. As I grew up I always thought if there was a god then why is there so many nasty things happening in the world. Today I understand.
Things went very wrong
My life has also been very eventful and most being nice. I got into a relationship in March 2002 to a guy I 'thought' was great, my friend, soul mate, my lover and my world, so I thought. In 2003 I had my third child (my first with him). He moved in and things were good. In 2006 I had my second child with him. We had our ups and downs which I 'thought' (there's that word again!) all couples went through which I learnt later on wasn't the norm. In 2010 he started working away and when he came home, he spent most of his time drinking alcohol. In October 2010 things went very wrong and I ended up having to have a panic alarm put in by the police for our safety in case he turned up. He went to live in a B & B for the homeless. We talked lots and I let my heart rule my head and I let him back into our lives/home. Yeah I know you're thinking “WHY?”. After all that he had put us through, I loved this man so much and so wanted a family life, thinking I couldn't do this without him.
December 2010 me and the kids moved home, fresh start and that so I thought. Christmas day came and I invited him to spend the day with us as a family. He started to stay round now and again. On 28th January 2011, I went to bed leaving him downstairs. I woke at 4am to find he had gone taken his car and left his phones. At 4.30am I heard a car pull up outside, saw him walk towards the house, we exchanged a few words, then next thing I knew I'm being thrown around the front room by my hair. The kids woke and heard the shouting etc...My daughter managed to call the police without him knowing so they could hear what happened for the next 30minutes before they turned up. He was arrested and spent time in prison.
“WHY” – is all I had in my head 24/7. I had many questions and no answers. Each day that passed hurt, some days I thought about walking out the door and not turning back thinking my kids would be better off without me. What had I done?
The Lord spoke to me
In August 2011 Cayley (my third child) attended Sports Reach in Sandhurst, I attended the service on the Sunday, heard Sue Marsden tell her testimony and talk of her new life. Something happened to me that day during prayer, the Lord touched me/spoke to me. I'd never felt anything like it before and still have trouble putting it into words. I spoke of this to Jane Buss and Sue.
I know he’s in my heart
My life was changing. I could see light at the end of the tunnel. I started attending Outpost Church, praying the Lord Jesus Christ would be at work in my life. I thank him every day for what he has done and still doing in my life. I started to learn about the great book THE BIBLE, which to be honest I don't find easy as I'm not great at reading but with the help of Jesus and great friends, I'm learning, but I know he's in my heart. The devil is always putting temptation in my way, but I talk to the Lord and keep going...
How can I thank him enough
Jesus died for all our sins and how can I thank him enough. Before becoming a Christian I was very scared of dying, today I know I'll go to the perfect place to meet the perfect man JESUS.