I am 34 years old, married to Laura and we have a baby daughter called Elsie. I just want to share with you how I became a Christian, and why I now follow Jesus.
Running From God
Roughly 12 years ago I went to Australia in search of escape from boredom, depression, church and loneliness. On my travels I tried to find this escape in seeing the sights, going to parties, having relationships, getting drunk, eating out and anything that took my interest. But everything I tried left me feeling empty. I continued in this quest to be happy until suddenly I started to be aware of a deep inner feeling of fear that I was running away from God and sinning against him in everything I was doing. I feared God because I knew I was guilty of sinning against him and I knew I deserved his punishment for sin in hell.
I Can’t Do Anything To Help Myself
Around the same time I met a Christian and whilst we chatted together I was stunned by the way he talked about God, it was as if he knew God personally. I really wanted to know God like he knew God. I asked people questions, started to read the Bible and looked on the internet searching for answers. This intense searching drove me to despair as I just couldn’t work out what I need to do, and then when reading some bible verses on the Internet the answer came to me, ‘I can’t do anything to help myself!’. In that moment, I understood that I needed God to do something for me.
Have Mercy On Me, O God
I went back to my bedroom at University and I wanted to pray but I struggled to know how so I opened the Bible at Psalm 51 and read it aloud as the cry of my own heart:
‘Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions...cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge. ...Cleanse me...and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. ...Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God’
Free From The Weight Of Sin
Immediately I knew that I was forgiven and free from the weight of my sin, not because of anything I had done but by what Jesus had done for me. God had come into this world and lived as a man, Jesus Christ. He lived a perfect life, but was rejected by mankind and died on the cross to take the punishment for mankind's sin. Jesus then rose from the grave defeating Satan, sin and death. All I needed to do was to turn to Jesus and put my trust in him. I knew after praying, that God had forgiven me and had given me new life and a new hope. As I walked outside my room afterwards I could not wipe the smile off my face, I truly felt that I had found what I had been looking for in my pleasure seeking. I had found Jesus.